So a lot of people have told me that they don’t find Jessica Chastain attractive. This is odd because I actually can’t think of times I have asked people if they found her attractive. Usually when someone feels the need to voice an opinion counter to yours it is because they think you are so wrong they can’t hold back. I get this, I’m human (yes, I know, I seem super human, how can one person manage to find some beautiful woman desirable every day. It’s amazing! But really, I’m just like you, only with a better blog). Like I once knew this girl who just would not shut the fuck up about the healing power of crystals and it took a Herculean effort not to tell her she was a fucking moron. And I’m not Hercules so I told her she was a fucking moron. And that no it wasn’t just my option that there was no evidence crystals heal anything, that’s actually fact. And no knowledge is democratic. And yes she does have a right to believe what she wants but no it doesn’t make her as right as I am. I mean, those people really get me, believe whatever batshit non evidence backed thing you want but please don’t tell me all fact is opinion. Anyway, this took a strange turn about crystals but what i was saying is this is I guess what happens to people when they hear me say Jessica Chastain is attractive. They think I am so wrong they can’t keep quite. Well, I am here to tell you that you’re a fucking moron. Now, I know you’re saying that’s unfair, taste is subjective and there is no right or wrong. But what I am saying is while you can read these words I can’t hear what you’re saying to your computer screen. Quit talking to your computer screen! People will think you’re crazy. But mainly neener neener I can’t hear you! So that makes me right! Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.