So I was at Staples because I guess part of being an adult means you go to Staples eventually? I am not sure, I just know that I needed file folders which seems like a profoundly adult thing to need. I actually didn’t even realize they weren’t a renewable resource that just grew out of my desk before I went to get one and they were all gone. I don’t remember ever buying them in the past. Maybe they just came with the house or something? More likely my mom got then when I was like 18 telling me how much I was going to need them as I rolled my eyes and was like, “Ok, moooooom,” knowing full well that her generation may have needed file folders but not mine. We weren’t ever going to sell out like those god damned baby boomers. Anyway, that’s probably where they came from but I can’t be sure File Folder Gnomes didn’t just deliver them. Irregardless, there were no more but it’s cool cause I’m an adult and I knew there was a Staples or something a few miles away and as an adult I could totally handle this. Staples seemed like an adult place to me at least because I know I have never had a desire to go in there but every time I pass a toy store I have to fight the urge to stop and go in and see what they have (I own more shit that glows in the dark than you could possibly believe). So I go to Staples and I realize I have said that name a lot, they aren’t a sponsor or anything, I don’t have sponsors. Except maybe my boss because sometimes I have been at work and typing this stuff but I am not billing for those hours so I don’t think that really counts. Anyway, I get there and I didn’t know what Staples had besides file folders and like printer cartridges. I guess maybe highlighters if I thought about it. Well, it turns out they have just a ton of Dora The Explorer themed back packs and notebooks. So apparently it is for kids, just the most boring kids ever because it seemed to be a Mecca for kiddie branded office supplies. Or maybe that’s a back to school thing but I didn’t see any Trapper Keepers and let’s be honest, you’re pretty lame if you don’t have a Trapper Keeper. Anyway, among the other strange things in this magical land of computers and printer paper and K-cups were giant posters and cardboard cut outs of Katy Perry everywhere. They all said that I could make it Roar. Which is nice. I have no idea what that could possibly have to do with office supplies. Honestly, I don’t even really know what Katy Perry has to do with office supplies period. And believe me, I have tried imagining her as a sexy secretary or something to see if that helps and it doesn’t. She just wasn’t made for the corporate world, it would be silly. So I am at a loss BUT I will say that Katy Perry looked very pretty and I may be tempted to sketch a heart with WIWTFT + KP inside it on one of my file folders but I promise it will be in blue or black ink when I do. Because I’m an adult. Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.