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Here is Nicki Minaj because I think Nicki Minaj is hot.  I think at least 90% of the time I have posted her here I have explained that I think she’s hot and am confused by people who don’t.  It’s not a big deal I guess, your opinions are your own.  I will never understand how people look at me like I am from the moon though when I say she’s hot.  Because I think she’s hot.  Oh well… more for me?  No… it doesn’t work that way with people, just food.  Well, I will consider myself to be among the elite few with truly sophisticated taste.  Or something.  Today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.

Here is Kate Upton in a bikini because I am lazy.  I realize that doesn’t sound like a reason but it is so, so easy to find Kate Upton looking good in a bikini that I don’t really have to put any effort into it.  I kind of just open the folder, randomly click with my mouse and i am done.  Clothing is harder.  So I went with a bikini because I am having a slow morning.  Like so slow that i went to the store to get stuff to make soup and got home and realized I forgot the main ingredient.  Now I am face with the decision of going back or saying fuck it and like… ordering a pizza or something.  I will probably go but I will bitch the whole time.  To myself I guess because I don’t think anyone else is walking to the grocery store with me.  So I’ll be the crazy person loudly complaining to invisible people while grabbing chicken stock.  I’ll admit, my life isn’t quite as glamorous as I imagined when I was 10.  Anyway here is Kate Upton because Katherines pretty much rule my world.  It’s a fact.  I have spreadsheets (No, really.  I do.  I am a huge dork.  I have picked girls named some spelling variation of Katherine 116 times now).  This is actually the 46th time I have picked Kate Upton because she’s alright I guess.  I kinda like her.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Here is Anne Hathaway because apparently my brain wanted Anne Hathaway.  I had a dream about her.  She got a job where I was working (interestingly nothing like any place I currently or have ever worked) to study for a role but no one realized it was her.  Except me.  That’s a pretty big running theme in my dreams, that I am the only smart person on Earth.  I get stuff but everyone else is a drooling mouth breather who can meet Anne Hathaway and not know it’s her.  She even went by Anne.  Anyway, she was pretty nice and I told her I knew but she realized she could trust me so we hung out and made jokes.  Thus my dream about Anne Hathaway.  But I woke up going, “She was pretty hot in my dream”.  So today I want to fuck Anne Hathaway.

Here is Danielle Harris who I have seen in three movies this week.  It started as a coincidence when I watched one of the worst things I have ever seen called Killer Bud.  I thought it was going to be a terrible pot horror movie but it ended up just being a terrible pot comedy.  It stared Bud Bundy and Parker Lewis but Danielle Harris was one of the love interests.  Then I watched a horror movie called Camp Dread where she had a small role.  At that point I was like, ok, let’s just find something else with her in it.  So I did.  Anyway, she is here because she is pretty and like a lot of horror fans I have a lot of affection for her.  That just happens to people who stick around the genre for a long time.  So I kind of feel like you either know who she is an at least have warm feelings towards her or you are wondering who the hell she is.  Or you’re the one person who is like, “Oh man, the daughter from Last Boy Scout, I was wondering what happened to her”.  If you are that one person send me an ask, I love the way your brain works.  Today I want to fuck Danielle Harris.

Here is Emmy Rossum who is reliably pretty.. Now, normally if you are describing a woman as “reliable” it’s not really the highest form of flattery.  Really being called reliable regardless of gender isn’t a huge indicator of attraction.  But in this case I mean she’s almost like visual comfort foot.  Or pretty comfort food?  As I type this I feel like I am making things worse.  What I mean is that she is very pretty and is always pretty.  The most remarkable thing about her is how she pretty much always looks good.  To the degree that it becomes common place.  I see pictures of Emmy Rossum and before I even open them up I pretty much know she is going to be very pretty, be flawlessly dressed and I almost kind of yawn.  Which again sounds exciting but it’s actually a feat.  My favorite baseball player as a kid was Cal Ripken.  He was notoriously reliable and consistant.  It made him a hero to millions of kids.  I mean he did a lap around the stadium and shook people’s hands.  I saw grown men cry.  I am not saying Emmy Rossum is a hero or anything, I am just saying that sometimes being consistent is an achievement in it’s own.  Or maybe not, my favorite Superhero of all time is Cyclops so I could just be boring and think saying boring things are compliments.  But you know, I can point to way more good Cyclops stories than you can point to whatever total bad ass 90’s kill crazy character you love has, because he crapped out with chromium covers.  Which you know, basically is my way of saying today I want to fuck Emmy Rossum.

Here is an actress named Shanley Caswell who was apparently in the Conjuring but I don’t know who she was.  One of the daughters?  No, maybe she was one of the girls at the college conference?  I have no clue, I watched this movie last night called Detention which is one of those strange films that you certainly can’t suggest, it was a bit oppressive in it’s desire to have “fun” but at the same time there was enough skill behind the camera and enough that made it unique that you can’t entirely write it off. I mean, if you never see it you’ll be fine.  Seriously, you don’t need to see this.  It just is hard to say it was garbage and walk away.  Anyway, she was sort of the final girl or… I don’t know, the movie was meta on top of meta so she was the obviously hot nerd girl who no one thought was hot but it was also a slasher movie and… it was a mess.  I thought she was cute so here she is today, enjoy.  Today I want to fuck Shanley Caswell.

So yesterday Anna Kendrick showed up on WTF and I got excited when I saw that and knew my goal was to plow through the two episodes in the way to get to her because Anna Kendrick is awesomely charming.  So I got there and of course an hour long interview with her was great.  She even talked a little about the strange people who have crushes on her and stuff (she was of course talking about other people, no one reading this) but it all just reinforced that she is hilarious and great.  There is just something about her, she just seems like a lot of fun and… I dunno, it’s hard to really phrase.  She commented that no one would ever walk up to Jessica Biel and say the sort of things they say to her.  They expect her to find it funny.  I guess this is because in everyone’s mind Anna Kendrick is kind of like girl friend or best friend material.  She seems approachable because she seems like someone they want to spend time with.  This is actually a pretty big compliment I think.  Though I guess it isn’t for me to decide if she should be flattered.  I think she’s great though and today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

I don’t typically do birthday posts but pigeonfoo isn’t typical is she?  I believe I have documented quite well in the past that she rules.  I could make charts and graphs and stuff but obviously everyone is just going to be looking at the pictures.  If you are reading though here is what you should do for her birthday: reblog this post so other people can see it.  Now, I know that sounds potentially self serving but I promise it isn’t selfishly motivated.  See, when you are any small business owner (and I bet you haven’t thought of that, have you, models are running a small, often one person business.  We are told time and time again that small businesses are the backbone of America so why haven’t we ever seen prominent politicians praising Pigeon Foo?  Major oversight if you ask me) one of the hardest things to do is to let people know that your business even exits.  If I were talking about Pigeon Foo’s Carpet Emporium her real struggle wouldn’t be in laying carpet and like… whatever else a carpet store does, it would be getting customers in the store and even having people looking for carpet knowing it exists.  So as a model her struggle is not so much in modeling (which tough job but she clearly can do it) it’s in the getting her name out there and so on.  So that is why you should reblog this because think of all the followers you have who don’t even know Pigeon Foo exists!  I mean, that’s tragic for them right?  It’s also sad for her because again, more people knowing who she is means more work and… it’s like the circle of life except not at all.  Maybe it’s like dominoes.  Not the game where you match like numbers of dominoes but you know, when you knock one down.  What am I saying, you get it, you are sharp, you follow this blog (or the Pigeon Foo tag).  I mean if you really don’t want to give me the notes then go to her blog and reblog something she herself posted, though, you know, I don’t know what I did to you.  Whatever, I have dropped the ball here, I feel like this entry should be better but they can’t all be winners.  No wait, they can’t all be Pigeon Foo quality!  Let’s go with that.  See what I did there?  Anyway, happy birthday to Pigeon Foo and today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

You may not realize this about me but I absolutely love Robin Hood.  I actually like quite a bit of similar things I suppose, I was also always really into King Arhtur.  And Knights in general.  As a kid I remember watching the Errol Flynn movie and wondering why there weren’t more (you know, people can rag on Hollywood for sequels but they are just giving people what they want.  If they had made 72 Robin Hood movies I would have rented them all.  70 of them might have sucked but it wouldn’t have mattered.  What I am saying is if you are trashing the creative bankruptcy of sequels remember there is an 8 year old who doesn’t care and just wants to see his favorite characters and you’re a joyless child hater).  I even tried reading some of the really old stuff but man, poems from the 13th century are really not for 10 year olds.  Anyway, I loved Robin Hood and I also really love period dress, something I have addressed here before.  There is a hierarchy of what is best but towards the top is the random medieval type things you find in things like Robin Hood.  So I thought Jenna Coleman looked great yesterday.  And I thought she was adorable when she first saw Robin Hood (spoilers, Robin Hood was in Doctor Who.  I guess you might have just thought I was rambling for no good reason about him).  I mean, honestly I look at Jenna Coleman and all I can think of is how she is so damn pretty.  And obviously I like all things English and have since I was a little kid.  Who can blame me?  What was I going to do, prance around talking about Robin des Bois?  Please.  Today I want to fuck Jenna Coleman.

So Debby Ryan hasn’t really shown up here very much and it’s basically because I don’t watch the Disney Channel.  Except for Gravity Falls, which might be on Disney XD or whatever it’s called.  The one for boys.  Cause it has superheros (really.  Disney created XD cause they had a tough time attracting boys).  I don’t know, my DVR records it for me.  This used to be the only time I saw Debby Ryan because the last few minutes of her show would always be the start of my recording.  Usually there would be some zanny quip or a pratfall or like maybe a freeze frame?  I don’t know, I try not to be too harsh but it looked terrible.  Now I get to see the end of some other show set in a high school or a junior high that looks even worse.  All of this sounds very judgmental but I am the idiot who is watching something meant for people 25 years younger than me.  And I loved the shows Salute Your Shorts and Hey Dude! on Nickelodeon back in the day and I am pretty sure those were just terrible.  I don’t know, I haven’t gone back to watch but I bet Hey Dude makes Jessie (or Jessie! I am not sure what her show is called, I would put in the exclamation point if I was naming it) look like Shakespeare.  None of that has much to do with anything but I do like to ramble sometime.  I can easily say Debby Ryan is far, far hotter than the girls were on those terrible shows i watched.  Well… maybe Kelly Kapowski ranks but I dunno, late 80’s/early 90’s fashion and hair has not aged that well.  Anyway, Debby Ryan is very pretty but I rarely think of her.  But I have seen a bunch of pictures of her lately and so… here we are.  Today I want to fuck Debby Ryan.