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So yesterday was a pretty big Karen Gillan day.  Not only was I ready to watch Selfie then in the middle of the afternoon word starts coming out that she’s in the new TV on the Radio video.  This was like 12 kinds of exciting because great band, great talent (I mean, Paul Ruebens, too, guys, this is great).  Anyway, I kind of knew that no matter what today I’d be posting Karen Gillan because.. look, most days she isn’t on anything.  Two things it’s like Christmas.  Because she is awesome.  Selfie was um… ok.  It has some problems.  It might get better.  Whatever, I am glad for some Karen Gillan and she certainly was not the problem.  Today I want to fuck Karen Gillan.

Among the many lame things about me these days the lamest is that I am too old to watch Saturday Night Live when it’s on most of the time now.  So I watch it Sunday.  Except you know, Football, so sometimes I watch it Monday.  Or like late Sunday.  Or… whenever.  I really fuck up the whole Live part of the equation.  Anyway, among the things in life I had no idea I needed in my life until they happened was Ariana Grande dressed as She-Ra.  Because… I honestly had never thought of combining that before.  It wasn’t quite chocolate and peanut butter.  Yet it happened and I was like, “Oh, hey there childhood.  This is nice”.  It’s nice.  I find her attractive and it turns out She-Ra is a good look for her.  So today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.

It’s really hard to believe but I ran this blog for 8 months before Anna Kendrick showed up.  At that point she was one of those people who I knew would eventually show up because I really liked her work as an actress but I didn’t know when.  I did not expect her to be the 7th most frequent pick on my blog ever.  The thing is not only is she a good actress she is just so charming and once you realize that and you get sucked into the charm offensive that is how she lives her life then it’s like… how could you be so oblivious before?  Like how did I watch Rocket Science and only think she was a good actress.  In retrospect I should have realized she also was amazing and destined to be an internet sensation.  So obvious in retrospect.  Anyway, she’s here again and it’s because she fucking rules.  Nothing more to say than that (though hilariously when I posted her last time someone reblogged and seemed baffled by how I end these.  Which I get, if you’ve never read this before it can be confusing when I end it with what I am about to end this with).  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

This season of Doctor Who could be a problem and it is for completely for non narrative reasons.  Every episode I find myself watching and going, “Man, Jenna Coleman is pretty”.  It happens at least once but really a lot more than that.  Every episode.  I could end up posting her every week.  I could run out of pictures.  Worst of all I feel like pictures don’t really do her justice, her face is so expressive, it’s part of her charm.  I need gifs but I am sure as hell not going to make them.  Lots of problems.  Life is hard, I have to just dig through picture after picture of Jenna Coleman every week.  Poor me.  Today I want to fuck Jenna Coleman.

Here’s Emma Watson cause I know you kids love Emma Watson.  I have my finger on the pulse, I know what kids like.  Rap music, skate boards, and Emma Watson.  Except you’re not really kids anymore are you?  Like the kids who grew up on Harry Potter are all growed up and that makes me feel pretty old.  Emma Watson is talking to the UN about feminism now.  It is a strange, weird world.  That’s not why she’s here though, she’s here because I had a dream about the apocalypse and she was there and surprisingly effective against Zombies.  Who had any idea?  I didn’t.  Or I guess I did, it’s my subconscious.  Anyway, today I want to fuck Emma Watson.

I have mentioned before that there are certain girls that I fully recognize are pretty and I see why others are attractive but something about them gives me a friend vibe.  I have noted this for Sarah Michelle Gellar and Emma Stone.  I would totally hang out with them.  I have very little interest in sleeping with them.  It seems like they could be exclusive except Anna Kendrick proves that to be utter horseshit because I totally want to be Anna Kendrick’s best friend.  I think she’s be awesome to hang out with.  And I realize saying that will be exhibit A when I am arrested and deemed unhealthily obsessed with Anna Kendrick.  Well, no, probably at least exhibit C.  A will be this blog.  This blog will be my downfall if the FBI ever wants to frame me for anything.  Close behind that will be my My Pictures Folder which is like 500k images strong and over 300 GBs.  That will make me look super crazy.  Then they’ll twist my words here.  I am not saying Anna Kendrick and I are best friends.  We might not even get along but she sure seems like someone you could get along with.  Absolutely fun to hang out with.  That doesn’t deter from her attractiveness though, in her case it seems to enhance it.  I had a point I was going to make here but I got distracted thinking about how one day my hard drive will doom me (no seriously, I saved half those pictures because they are hilarious.  I am not like INTO that stuff. Ewww).  Anyway, today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

So the other day this video of Liz Gillies showed up and I can’t quite put my finger on what but it caught my eye.  I can’t put my finger on what because of the frustrating limits of technology.  Probably for the best if I want to avoid sexual harassment law suits.  Hey, you guys all get that was a boob joke, right?  Good, let’s move on to more sophisticated stuff.  Elizabeth Gillies hasn’t shown up here in a long time and it’s a shame because I happen to find her very attractive she just… hasn’t had the career the other female stars of Victorious have had post career.  I think we’re all poorer for that.  It’s always interesting how that sort of thing works out.  I don’t think anyone though Ariana Grande would be a mega star a year later, right?  Who knows.  Anyway, she is still pretty and still seems pretty cool and I enjoy her so today I want to fuck Elizabeth Gillies.

So a lot of people have told me that they don’t find Jessica Chastain attractive.  This is odd because I actually can’t think of times I have asked people if they found her attractive.  Usually when someone feels the need to voice an opinion counter to yours it is because they think you are so wrong they can’t hold back.  I get this, I’m human (yes, I know, I seem super human, how can one person manage to find some beautiful woman desirable every day.  It’s amazing!  But really, I’m just like you, only with a better blog).  Like I once knew this girl who just would not shut the fuck up about the healing power of crystals and it took a Herculean effort not to tell her she was a fucking moron.  And I’m not Hercules so I told her she was a fucking moron.  And that no it wasn’t just my option that there was no evidence crystals heal anything, that’s actually fact.  And no knowledge is democratic.  And yes she does have a right to believe what she wants but no it doesn’t make her as right as I am.  I mean, those people really get me, believe whatever batshit non evidence backed thing you want but please don’t tell me all fact is opinion.  Anyway, this took a strange turn about crystals but what i was saying is this is I guess what happens to people when they hear me say Jessica Chastain is attractive.  They think I am so wrong they can’t keep quite.  Well, I am here to tell you that you’re a fucking moron.  Now, I know you’re saying that’s unfair, taste is subjective and there is no right or wrong.  But what I am saying is while you can read these words I can’t hear what you’re saying to your computer screen.  Quit talking to your computer screen!  People will think you’re crazy.  But mainly neener neener I can’t hear you!  So that makes me right!  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

I have posted Emily DiDonato a  handful of times now but I still feel like most people will be like, “Who” when I post her.  But maybe not.  I have no real good measure for how well known models are really.  There is like everyone knows them level and then everything else.  Those seem to be the two stages.  She is not in the everyone knows her stage.  And I am not even sure why I keep posting her.  That sounds like it’s some accident but I mean I can’t put my finger on exactly what but there is something about her that just appeals to me.  Like she is a model who clicks for me.  Sometimes that happens.  Specific people just mesh with your tastes so well.  There isn’t a thing you can point to, it’s just there.  Maybe it’s her eyes or who she models for or maybe I think her last name is fun to say.  Maybe it’s all those things.  Either way today I want to fuck Emily DiDonato.

I sometimes think about how easily influenced we are by the world around us.  The media or… whatever.  Not like the Illuminati or anything but just generally that someone is trying to push a certain person or this person has been deemed a star and another has not and how it influences us.  Or me at least.  I don’t know how it influences you.  Blake Lively is absolutely pretty and it isn’t like she’s Hollywood’s it girl or anything but it is worth noting I greatly enjoyed Gossip Girl and while I found her very pretty I pretty much ranked Leighton Meester about 72 levels higher than her.  Part of that was no doubt because Leighton Meester played the best character on the show.  Yes a lot of the world seemed to want Blake Lively to be the big thing to come out of Gossip Girl.  I mean, the basic narrative of the show was in a lot of ways shaped around the idea that she was almost supernaturally desirable.  The sort of person you just fall in love with.  And she got the bigger movie roles and the attention.  But while the show was on she couldn’t compare to Leighton Meester.  Well, Leighton Meester is not really in the spot light very often any more and the show is done and while Blake Lively isn’t getting a push as big as A-Listers, she shows up a lot more and as such… she has been posted a lot more.  And I think I find her more attractive now.  I think this means I am easily influenced or something.  I don’t know.  I do know that today I want to fuck Blake Lively.