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Here is Pigeon Foo, who has shown up here many times before, including both of my most popular posts of the year posts.  Because people love them some Pigeon Foo.  As they damn well should!  See, she is here today because she is awesome.  I mean, sure she’s pretty, it doesn’t hurt that she’s pretty (and for real look at the things her hair is doing in that third picture. How do you not love that?  That is awesome) but she is here because she is awesome.  I know this because I have been lucky enough to talk to her sometimes and that is when I discovered what everyone who knows her even a little knows, she’s awesome. You might think I am laying it on a bit thick there but I am not joking, people have sent me asks before to tell me that she is just an amazing person to know and how pleasant she is.  Nothing speaks better of you as a person than when your reputation is nothing but people saying you are great.  She doesn’t really have to be, especially on the internet because let’s be honest, the internet can act like a bag full of dicks when it wants to and I often think the one unifying trait of the internet is that it hates women, so she doesn’t have to be nice.  But she is awesomely nice.  And awesomely awesome!  And just, look, follow her, it’s very simple, her name is pigeonfoo and tumblr makes it so easy to link to blogs now.  My point is she’s awesome with a sub point of she’s pretty and I think I implied you’re all dicks, sorry about that, bag full of dicks is just really fun to say, but my point is that today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

I watched this movie called the Lifeguard last night and it was pretty horrible on a lot of levels.  It was just… well, I am not here to dump on any movies but it committed a lot of the crimes that indie shoe-gazing stuff can commit and didn’t really do any of the stuff they can do well, so it felt sort of like a movie created to give fodder to critics of introspective art house stuff.   I was disappointed because at this point it has been pretty well documented I love Kristen Bell to pieces.  Sadly, she is in a lot of pretty bad movies.  It happens I guess.  Still, she looked good in a bathing suit, so that’s a good thing I suppose.  Whatever, I am still disappointed but I also still think she’s great so today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

It is a little strange but of late a lot of my postings have been the result of dreams about celebrities.  I mean, I say a lot, but it has just been a handful.  That handful is a lot more than normal however.  Anyway, I had a strange dream last night (Well, right before I woke up.  Then I went to record store day) about a birthday party and how I had to put up birthday hammocks so people could nap at this nap themed birthday party and… I ended up at a store being chased by zombies but Josephine de la Baume picked me up in a blue pick up truck that had to be 50 years old.  I hopped in, she drove, we escaped.  I hit on her pretty hardcore and since it was my subconscious I was doing pretty well but… then I woke up.  Anyway, this is all very odd not just because it is odd but because I have not seen her in a single thing since I saw Kiss of the Damned.  I really liked the movie and I really liked her in it but that was like a year ago.  So I am a little surprised my brain dug her out for a dream appearance.  She was really good in that movie though, so I guess this is all a tribute to how well she did because I am still thinking about her on some level.  And I don’t mind because she is gorgeous.  So today I want to fuck Josephine de la Baume.

So Community is over.  Hopefully just for this season.  After all, we’re getting so, so close to six seasons and a movie, we can’t stop now!  I enjoyed this season a great deal, it felt like a return to form.  I mean, nothing will probably ever match the show at the highest of highs but it was pretty damn good.  And you know, I have a lot of affection for the entire cast, even if cast members have sadly been dropping like flies.  Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs are great though.  Not only because they are pretty and on a show I like but as someone who has been lucky enough to hear them on podcasts and see them on shows and stuff they both are pretty funny, interesting people.  And you know, it’s been so long since I’ve posted them together and why the hell not?  Today I want to fuck Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs.

So I was rewatching Avengers cause I can’t sleep and because it was that or mean girls and when conferring with a friend she reminded me she did not like the Avengers and because I am a contrarian I had to rewatch the Avengers.  It is fun to be a contrarian because you get to act like you are an iconoclast marching to your own beat when really your just as much a slave to your impulses, your impulse just happens to be to zag when everyone else is zigging.  Anyway, this gets me to Scarlett Johansson who I was discussion also and the fact that A) she is mega hot and B) I have been into her since she was like 17 (which is less creepy than it sounds because we’re pretty close in age).  I suppose that could also be a contrarian thing, choosing to really be into this girl no one else has heard of because you liked her in Ghost World and the Man who Wasn’t There and so on.  There might be an element of that but i am probably not introspective enough to ever know.  I choose to think it’s because I have fantastic taste because let’s be honest, I was totally right.  I mean, right?  I called it guys.  I saw a pretty girl and I was like that girl is pretty.  Totally nailed it.  13 years later and I am still right.  Because she is amazing.  And today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Here is Zooey Deschanel on account of her being quite pretty and adorable.  I was talking to a friend over the weekend about how she dresses and it was pointed out that she always looks so nice.  So… I chose mainly pictures of her face?  What can I say, I am complicated.  But she does always look so nice.  It is interesting that she has such a distinct style.  It is interesting that she is so distinct in general.  I am glad that in general I hear very little about how annoying she is these days.  It seems like a handful of years or so ago it was all I heard.  I never did quite get it, I always found her charming.  Maybe New Girl being popular was enough to turn the tide.  She is pretty hilarious on it so I can see that swaying people.  Or maybe those people simply got drown out by the fact that more people know who she is now.  I don’t know why but it’s a good thing when you don’t have to listen to people just trashing other people.  Always a good thing. Anyway, she is very attractive and I think I almost always post her on Wednesdays which makes sense and today I want to fuck Zooey Deschanel.

It’s actually been over a year since Lana Del Rey has been here which is both surprising and not surprising at all.  Surprising because she is rather attractive and I have quite a few followers who absolutely love her.  Not surprising because I was probably most into her before he first album even came out and man, that feels like a million years ago now, right?  Back when there was debate about if she was indie or manufactured and like before she even was on SNL and people blew that out of proportion?  Well, she released a new song which if you are reading this you probably know.  If you aren’t reading this you probably don’t care.  It’s been all over my dash as well as her Coachella performance and well… she is attractive and not all together unpleasant to listen to.  Nice to look at and to listen to.  So… it’s that simple, today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.

Mad Men came back last night and I guess that means it’s Christina Hendricks time.  Traditionally that’s what it means, the 3 or so months a year the show is on I end up posting her a bunch and then basically stop after that.  Because that’s how it works sometimes.  Christina Hendricks is lovely and i know the internet loves her but the truth is so much of her appeal in my mind is how good she is on screen.  Her performance is by and large fantastic and that is so much more compelling than the two assets most people think make her compelling.  At least to me.  I mean, obviously I find her physically attractive but there are lots of pretty girls out there.  It often takes something more for a girl to show up here, something else in them that connects with me.  For her it is definitely her acting ability.  I suddenly worry I am getting defensive.  Truth is I am super tired and so I am maybe not going to do her justice.  That’s  a shame but I will just say Christina Hendricks is fantastic and a great part of a great show and today I want to fuck Christina Hendricks.

Here is Rosie Jones because she’s on my mind.  Simple, I know.  But she is because… she is.  How that for some tautology.  See, even if I have nothing really to say I can use big words, and use it as an excuse to educate you all.  I seek not just to be lascivious but also illuminated.  Or something. I am just straight up steam of consciousness rambling to be honest because I wanted to kind of avoid my usual joke about being into British women.  I think I was subconsciously concerned about my strange attraction which is why I ended up with pictures of blue fields, white stars, and red and white stripes.  Go America?  Fuck that King George guy, am I right? Yeah!  Well, maybe not because Rosie Jones is pretty hot, so you know, the English are pretty alright for giving us her.  Wow, this entry is a mess, I’m just calling it here guys, I’m done.  Today I want to fuck Rosie Jones.

Today is one of those days I am going to need a nap.  Like I could not fall asleep, could not fall asleep and then at 6 AM I wake up feeling wide awake.  I say feeling because I know it’s a lie and eventually my body is going to go, “Hey, 4 hours of sleep is not enough, I’m going to crash now, have fun getting through the rest of the day”.  Anyway, that’s exciting to read about I am sure, just wait until I start my exciting new blog Do I Need a Nap Today. Right before I woke up I had a dream about Anna Kendrick.  It was kinda strange because it was us and there was a Trans Am and like she was trying to get into a kind of southern/trailer trash sort of character but it seemed more inspired by Dukes of Hazard and that sort of thing than any sort of reality and like… she had really big hair.  I don’t know what any of that meant really and I don’t know what inspired it.  I haven’t seen Smokey and the Bandit in a really long time.  Anyway, that is why she is here.  Also because obviously Anna Kendrick is just kind of amazing.  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.